Shared Reflections and Memories

These are recollections, thoughts, and memories sent in by Nancy's friend, family and students for the memorial service. You can add your own recollections to share by using the "comment" link at the bottom of this posting, or you can also join the new group and mailing list: http://groups.google.com/group/nancy-backstrom-memorial?hl=en

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From Nancy’s Cousin:

After the terrible shock of losing Nancy so suddenly, and so young, Carol and I have deep regrets we can't be there with you (from our home in New Jersey). We remember Nancy with love and joy. She, when 3 years old, was in her back yard, up close to and smelling one of her dad's flowers with her hand gently on the stem, and I took one of those unforgettable photographs that said so much about both the outward and internal beauty growing in that little girl. When she was home for two months, after her birth, I got another keeper shot of her, that I called "Nancy With The Laughing Face" (A then current Sinatra song). After the loss of her newborn brother, David, a year before she came along, Nancy was a blessed treasure to her parents. She grew and constantly developed her artistic abilities. I thank God I was able to visit with Nancy and Ed a few years ago - she was still the precious cousin I always knew. A while ago we sent her a birthday card that was to "The most special cousin in the entire universe". She was delighted and often reminded us of it. Our hearts are sad, but we are both glad for the life of Nancy and for being a close part of it for so long. Now, at last, she knows what true paradise is like.

---Bob and Carol Henderson
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Thank you for notifying me of the passing of my old friend Nancy Backstrom. Were it not for your thoughtful and kind e-mail, I would possibly never know she had left us. This, in spite of the fact that we talked by phone occasionally and kept in touch by e-mail. Nancy was my high school classmate and best friend in high school. We kept in contact throughout our lives.

Sue Brander
Van Hornesville, New York
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She used to attend my Tai Chi class in Oakland on Thursday mornings.

I loved her watercolors.
I had intended to purchase two of her paintings for my home studio - I wish I had moved
on that sooner -

Valerie
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I first met Nancy at a retreat at San Damiano Retreat Center in Danville. I was most impressed with her gentleness, kindness and thoughtfulness. I wish I had been among her close friends. She has been in my prayers. I am sorry I must miss the Memorial.I am glad her passing was peaceful and quiet, as befits Nancy.

Yours truly,
Jeanne Hassenzahl
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I am so, so sorry to read about Nancy's leaving us. She gave much to my late husband, Spencer, as they painted together at the El Cerrito Senior Center. Every time I was around her, I felt inspired by her presence.On Saturday I will be volunteering at the American Cancer Society's Relay for Life in Pinole and will be unable to attend her memorial service, but I'll donate a luminaria in her name, and good thoughts about her will float away on the balloons that will be released. A marvelous person has completed the walk on planet Earth, but her footprints are large.

Nancy Compton
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I was Nancy's roommate in college her senior year at the University of Connecticut. We also were sorority "sisters" of Kappa Alpha Theta. We both were English majors and enjoyed many other interests. My fondest memories of Nancy are when we spent a summer break as waterfront camp counselors at a wonderful girls camp in Maine. Our paths separated after she graduated from college and when she moved to California and I stayed on the East coast, but three years ago we arranged a meeting in Berkeley when my husband (who also knew Nancy in our college years) and I traveled to San Francisco to visit our son, who subsequently met Nancy at one of her art shows. We share with many others our deep sadness at the loss of a dear friend and wonderful human being.

Carole Dorosz Diesel
Albany, New York
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I was saddened to learn of Nancy's death. As a beginning watercolor student, I found her to be a caring and patient teacher. She helped me get past my clumsy first efforts. I felt I was making progress under her caring guidance. I shall very much miss taking classes with her. She was a special person. My life has been enriched by knowing her.

Leonard Farwell
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Nancy, dear Nancy…
Nancy and I were close friends through high school and college in CT and have kept in contact through the years. Whenever we were in our home town at the same time, we got together. Breakfast or lunch or just a quiet walk, our time together was always meaningful. Nancy shared from her heart—gentle, caring, thoughtful… I will miss my longtime friend with her ready smile and lovely laughter…
Thanks to all of you who are making it possible that Nancy’s extended family of friends have been informed and have a way to share…

Blessings—Margie Heintz (Champaign, IL)
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I met Nancy in June 2007 while we were on a painting workshop in Maine. I was immediately struck by her kind and gentle nature. She produced beautiful art that matched her personality. Over the year we emailed each other to see how our progress in art was going. The last message just a few days before she left us. What a shock. I will miss her very much. I am attaching one last painting to share with Nancy.



Dennis Brown
Ladysmith, BC
Canada



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Dear Friend(s), I am deeply grieved to hear of Nancy's passing.What a gentle, talented soul. Thanks for putting this out to her circle.

Fondly Yvonne Bernklau (It's possible Linda Vogel took some of these)

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Yes, she was a lovely person, whom I met as one of her students in El Cerrito, and I mourn her loss like the rest of us, there and elsewhere. A true professional in every way, who emanated friendship. Who can ever replace her. No one!

Neville Hibbs
Northumberland
UK
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Hello,I am so sorry to hear about Nancy's death.I cannot be there on Sunday and I am out of the country, so I cannot mail anything either. However, just for my sake (even if no one reads this) I want to say this...I took Nancy's "Exploring your Creativity" class at Albany Adult school back in 1994 (or about then). It truly woke up my creative talents and desires after having let them be dormant for more than a decade. That class started my commitment to my own creative practice and helped me make the transition from being a classroom teacher to being an art teacher. Nancy was a wonderful teacher and presence and I am grateful for her contribution to my life.

Thank you and Good bye.
Lucy Ames Imagination Kids ~ Art Camps Jewelry Designs
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To the friends of Nancy gathered in her passing:I first met Nancy over 20 years ago in Madison when she moved into my house. Over the years we became very close friends and I missed her when she moved out to California. We kept in touch, she was like a sister to me and I a brother to her. I will miss her and will always remember her.

Randy Kohl
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I live in Oakland in the winter and WV in the summer and have been taking art classes from Nancy on and off for about 6 years. I most recently took a watercolor class over a weekend in March. I am very sorry to hear that her life has been cut short and mourn her passing with the rest of you. I am still in WV so can't be present on Saturday, but will be thinking of her and all of her good friends.

Christine Weiss Daugherty
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Nancy was a dear prayer partner. I will be praying for her and her friends!
My fondest memory is her caring observation of me one day and her complimenting my colors of orange and purple.
She noticed the beauty of the colors...and expanded with her artistic eye...I now choose my colors more consciously.
It was good teaching.

Love,
Lisa Lemus
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I’m very sorry to hear of Nancy’s passing. She was such a lovely and caring person. She made the world a better place, touched many lives positively, and will surely be missed by those close to her.

Thanks for letting me know.
Debra
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I am extremely sorry to hear this sad and unexpected news. I am in Istanbul and unfortunately I am not going to be there until August 20th. I feel very sad that she is not with us anymore, she was young spirited, creative and so calm all the time. I will miss her dearly and think about our memories together. Since I am not going to be there to say my last goodbye to Nancy, on August 16th, I will leave a flower in the Bosporus Sea in the name of her memory. Please share this with her friends and students.

I wish she will be peaceful in her new journey.
Sinem Banna

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Dear Whomever, friend or relation to Nancy,
I am shocked, saddened, dismayed and...upset to hear about Nancy's death. I went to her Open Studio not that long ago and she gave no sign of being ill in any way. I knew she had struggled with health issues a few years ago, but she had seemed to be very full of life the past year or so, I had thought.
And I was excited about taking her art workshop and really looking forward to doing collage with her....Come back, Nancy.

Blessings to you Nancy.

And blessings to those who were very close to her.
With love,
Freya Hermanson

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Knowing Nancy for a short time, I feel grateful for having gone to her recent show at the Womens Cancer Resource Center where I shared heartfelt thoughts about her art and the art of others, talking as well about our future continuing teacher/student relationship. I also had the opportunity to meet students and friends of hers who had worked/played with her for several years, one of whom acknowledged the freeing feeling of opening her "right brained" self to artistic expression -- that it has been an immeasurable offering -- one that Nancy was key in having manifested.

The first time I met Nancy, having Googled her for watercolor lessons, she invited me to stop by at her past spring's open studio. My partner and dog entered Nancy's studio and took part in the luxurious quality of Nancy's paintings. Before leaving I'd set up a time for a lesson and my partner bought a lovely watercolor yet awaiting just the right frame. It shall be treasured, letting in all the depth of light and color that Nancy imparted.

I am so glad the relationship began as it did, and while the blooming was brief and curtailed, I like others who have known her were given the gift of her generous and freeing spirit.

Thank you,
Nancy.Ani Siegel

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I am stunned and so very sorry to hear about Nancy’s death. I was a fellow painter and new friend of Nancy’s from last June’s Skip Lawrence workshop in Maine. I had the opportunity and good fortune to spend a lovely day with Nancy in and around Berkeley last October when my husband and I were in San Francisco for a few days. She was very gracious and drove me all over showing me the beautiful hills and campus and one of her favorite lunchtime cafes.And then her studio full of her wonderful work. Nancy had just sent me an email not very long ago checking in to see if I was still planning to come to the workshop the last week in August. I answered her and got no reply. A week or so later I wrote again and still didn’t hear. I figured she was probably out of town, and never expected this news. While I only knew Nancy for a week last summer, she was one of the people that stayed in my mind and with whom I communicated from time to time for moral support about a painting or just to discuss art. She was a very talented artist and a gentle person. And I was so much looking forward to seeing her in Maine again this summer. Thank you for including me in this message and letting me know about her wish for contributions to Sierra Club. I wish I could be at her memorial service but I live in Maryland. I’ll be there in spirit.

-Warm regards,Diane Dunn
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The following messages were posted on the online "Guest book" maintained by the newspaper that ran Nancy's obituary (not sure how long this will be kept up), you can view or add to the original postings by following this link: http://www.legacy.com/InsideBayArea/GB/GuestbookView.aspx?PersonId=115053378

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August 20, 2008
Nancy rented the apartment downstairs from us, which her friends called her "tree house" for its peaceful views of the oak trees, flowery gardens and the Oakland Hills. She and her cat Beauty knew how to enjoy the quiet and still moments of the day. I will miss the sounds of her tea kettle whistling for afternoon tea, and the smell of popcorn when she would nestle in to watch an evening movie on her red couch, and the creak of the gate and the wooden stairs as she came and went, whether on a neighborhood walk with an old friend, or to and from the many painting classes and workshops she taught, or to her studio to create the beautiful paintings, collages, and little boxes that were her meditations and her gifts to those who saw them. You can view some photos of Nancy and her artwork at this web-page celebration of her life put up by her friends: http://nancybackstrom.blogspot.com/With much love, Pascual and Robin.

Pascual Benito (Oakland, CA) Contact me

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August 18, 2008
Nancy Backstrom doesn’t live in California anymore? I read this news and found it unimaginable. Nancy has lived in California for most of our adult lives. She loved her work! She loved the people! She was more productive than she had been in years.Why would she leave now?

Denial was brief. Within minutes of receiving the e-mail from the kind neighbor who notified Nancy’s nationwide friends, I had an e-mail from our close friend and classmate, Marjorie Heintz. Marjorie, too, had read this incredible news. It’s hard to believe Nancy won’t be back east, if not this summer, then surely next summer.

Ron Brander, my ex-husband, wrote, “I remember her beautiful blonde hair.” Ah! Of course! Ron would remember the beauty! And what blonde hair it was! Beautiful golden flaxen Scandinavian blonde hair. I remember that hair in High School. It was the most striking feature of our most stunning classmate. If she knew she was beautiful, she didn’t act that way. She was a cheerleader, and she wore those spiffy blue and gold uniforms perfectly on her sleek frame. She did cartwheels and leaps and bounds.

She was nice, too. How nice? I came to Ellington High School in the middle of my freshman year. I didn’t know anyone. I was something of a nerd. Not downright homely, but not all that pretty either. And too brainy for my own good. It would be safest to pass by the new girl. Let her flap around on her own for a while. Miraculously, the kids who were the leaders of Ellington High School were not that way. They welcomed new kids, new ideas, new skills. They actually embraced new kids. Nancy and Marjorie were leaders in our class. If it was O.K. with them, then it was O.K. We became best friends.

We didn’t see each other for a few years after college. Then I moved back to a nearby town in 1974. From that time on, Nancy made a point of contacting me whenever she came home to visit her parents. We renewed our friendship and continued it in this curious annual catch-up way, for the next thirty years, more or less. Although we saw each other, at best, one or two days a year, there never seemed to be a gap. There was always an easy acceptance and understanding. Conversation flowed.

Not that we lived anything alike! Oh, no! I lived in chaos, compared with Nancy. There was the divorce, the daughter. The dog, the cat, the horse. The Horse!? For Pete’s sake! And then there were more horses. Nancy always seemed amused by the fluctuating animal kingdom surrounding our home. She also never failed to compliment my mother on the gracious old saltbox farmhouse and her beautiful rose gardens.

When Mr. Backstrom died, Nancy came home to sell the house. She confided that she was dreading the “tag sale” to sell the contents of the house. By this time, I had moved to a farm in upstate New York. I really wanted to see Nancy, and this was the perfect opportunity. I offered to drive down to Connecticut and help her through the sale. I can’t recall that I did much. We went out to dinner at Monet’s Table, a restaurant started by our classmate Kay Bahler Luginbuhl. We lingered long over dinner that evening. The tag sale faded from our thoughts for a few hours, and then it was time for bed. Before we knew it, it was morning, and the cars were lining up, waiting for the start time.

I bought one of her father’s garden tools at the sale that day. To my surprise, that was the last time I saw Nancy. We certainly hadn’t planned it that way.

Last February, I had a breast surgically removed due to breast cancer. The night before the surgery Nancy Backstrom called me. I can’t recall that any other friend or family called me that night. Not an easy call to make. But Nancy did not seem to be struggling, as we talked. Her courage came through crystal clear. We made plans to get together on my farm in upstate New York this summer. It’s a beautiful place to paint, with a pond, acres of hay fields, wood lots, and ten Morgan horses. Together, we leapt right over the surgery and into next summer. The weekend of August 10, it occurred to me we’d better get crackin’. Better call or e-mail Nancy and remind her it’s summer.You don’t want to visit upstate New York in the winter. NOW is the time! It even occurred to me, if not this summer, why, then next summer.

The next night, I got an e-mail from Nancy Backstrom. Oh boy! An e-mail from Nancy! Maybe she’s had the same idea I had. When my eyes dropped down to the subject line, confusion flooded my mind. Nancy Backstrom Memorial? What? I was still grappling with the idea when Marjorie’s e-mail arrived. It must be true.

And so, the beautiful blonde ingenue, the young cheerleader, the leader among friends all flashed before me. We thought there would be plenty of time. There will be plenty of summers….

I read the memorials on line, and I know many friends thousands of miles away will miss Nancy, too. I wouldn’t be surprised if some of us “hear from” her in the days and weeks ahead. Keep your eyes and ears and minds open. Watch for the hawk, the heron, or perchance the butterfly. When a brilliant spirit moves, sometimes there’s a glimmer of life beyond the pale. And wouldn’t Nancy just love it!

Sue Brander

Van Hornesville, New York

Sue Brander (Van Hornesville, NY) Contact me

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August 16, 2008
Gentle People: It was such a huge shock for me to hear that Nancy passed. Barely four days before, she and I shared moments at the Studio One Art Center talking about how we should approach the Marketing paradigm to further publicize the Center. I shared that I would express those notions to our Marketing Director. She was hale and hearty and we shared some jokes before she left the Center that evening. News of her passing was complete rude shock.We are already missing her. She taught many classes here for about eight years. Always smiling, she had an artistic following. On behalf of City of Oakland Office of Parks and Recreation, and entire family of Studio One Art Center staff and patrons, I express sincere condolence to family and friends of Nancy. May her gentle soul rest in God's abiding peace.Nancy will be celebrated at Studio One Art Center with an exhibition of her work "THERAPEUTIC ART: A Celebration of Nancy" from August 25 through Sept 15 at 365 - 45th Street, Oakland, CA 94609;and a Reception on Sept 11 from 5-6pm.Rest in Peace Nancy.-Kola Thomas, Center DirectorStudio One Art Center

Kola Thomas (Oakland, CA) Contact me

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August 13, 2008
A dear soul who touched many through her art and is sorely missed. God Speed.

Anna W. Edwards (San Leandro, CA) Contact me

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August 13, 2008
I am completely brokenhearted to hear of Nancy's passing. As a relatively new student of Nancy's, I went on Monday night to her studio for a prearranged 2 hour lesson and was very concerned about her not being there. Not hearing back from her after leaving an email, I've been curious and worried.Knowing Nancy for a short time, I feel grateful for having gone to her recent show at the Womens Cancer Resource Center where I shared heartfelt thoughts about her art and the art of others, talking as well about our future continuing teacher/student relationship. I also had the opportunity to meet students and friends of hers who had worked/played with her for several years, one of whom acknowledged the freeing feeling of opening her "right brained" self to artistic expression -- that it has been an immeasurable offering -- one that Nancy was key in having manifested.The first time I met Nancy, having Googled her for watercolor lessons, she invited me to stop by at her past spring's open studio. My partner and dog entered Nancy's studio and took part in the luxurious quality of Nancy's paintings. Before leaving I'd set up a time for a lesson and my partner bought a lovely watercolor yet awaiting just the right frame. It shall be treasured, letting in all the depth of light and color that Nancy imparted.I am so glad the relationship began as it did, and while the blooming was brief and curtailed, I like others who have known her were given the gift of her generous and freeing spirit.Thank you, Nancy.

Ani Siegel (Berkeley, CA) Contact me

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August 12, 2008
Nancy was my drawing teacher for a very short time at Open Studio. I was shocked to learn of her sudden death but when I think of what she valued - slowing down, noticing, paying attention to everything, connecting with the beauty in our lives, in some ways she was truly living each moment and in that way perhaps was as ready as any of us will ever be to take the next step. I give thanks for her encouragement and the kind, loving, sensitive way she taught. A safe and smooth transition to you Nancy.

Judy Vasos (Oakland, CA) Contact me

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August 9, 2008
How sad I am to hear of Nancy's passing. She's been my watercolor teacher for about three years, and I feel that I've learned so much from her--painting techniques, yes, but so much more. Her gentle humor, constant encouragement, sense of fun, and the way she modeled the graceful unfolding of her own life, like a package being carefully opened, one layer at a time. I suppose inspiration sounds a little trite, but she was one and I can't think of another way to say it. Among my last and very fond memories are the recent wonderful small drawing/paintings. At least two featured her lovely and beloved cat, Beauty, and another her own sandaled foot and the word "summer". I'll think of her on trails and paths, perhaps entering one of those lovely landscapes she captured so well.

Donna Mickleson (Berkeley, CA) Contact me

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August 8, 2008
Nancy was a dear, dear lady. She had such a bright spirit and always had a smile to share. Her beautiful watercolors were inspirational to me and I enjoyed helping her to arrange her wall of art in her studio. She will be sorely missed. Fly on sweet angel.

Michelle Elliott (Antioch, CA) Contact me

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August 8, 2008
Nancy lived across the street from me and I always appreciated her quiet, calm, positive demeanor. We shared tea, wine, and conversation. I am shocked and upset that such a lovely lady would leave us. I'll miss you Nancy. Libby

Libby Teel (Oakland, CA) Contact me

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August 7, 2008
Nancy will be missed by all of her students at California Autism Foundation, A Better Chance Day Program. We are left with rays of sunshine because Nancy brought so much light into our lives. Thank You!

Gwendolyn Captain (Richmond, CA) Contact me

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August 7, 2008
I worked with Nancy at the California Autism Foundation--where we were both ART TEACHERS/THERAPISTS/WARRIORS!She was a gentle & creative presence there & I was always inspired by the colorful projects she came up with on our limited budget & time-frame ! She is missed but her spirit lives on in all those wonderful creations adorning our classroom ! I am so grateful I was able to visit with her & enjoy a wonderful meditation retreat with her just this last Saturday.......

Donna Now (Hercules, CA) Contact me

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